Her voice was the best part—in the new body, Lois sounded just as she did in her own head. Strange how much it mattered, but the first time she switched in, the first time she tried saying “Hi, my name is Lois,” the sound of it moved her to tears.

The rest was wonderful, too: having a shape, having curves and softness, having hair that felt right, and actual eyes to make contact with. She stared at herself in the mirror for a solid minute, just crying, and then she laughed out loud at herself, and then she cried again.

It came with a basic coverall, but she’d ordered decent clothes. She stripped the coverall off as soon as she switched in, then took a shower. Feeling the warmth of the water, tasting it, felt so good that she almost stayed home.

She pulled on the dress—royal blue, a good match against the pale skin. My skin, she thought. She brushed soft brown hair, delicately applied a bright lipstick, and put on silver stud ear- and eyebrow rings. Then she slid on sandals and went out.

Everyone from her building liked The Actuator. Not the best or worst club in town, but one within staggering range of the corporate dorms if you were shit-faced. She’d gone once in her usual body (my work body, she corrected herself) but standing there voiceless, a heavy loader in the midst of smiling, laughing people with actual mouths to talk and ears to hear, eyes instead of camera ports…? In her new body, she felt her vocal cords tighten, her chest squeeze in sorrow at the memory.

She cried again in an alley, the kinesthetic presence of her emotions flooding her consciousness. No more steel spine, no more empty casing full of echoes, no more nerveless, distant mechanism. When she finally calmed down, she touched up her lipstick and walked as smoothly and gracefully as she could manage.

The thump-thump of the club resonated in her chest a hundred feet away. She tweaked her ears—this body had a club mode—and went inside. Maanika was by the bar, chatting with Suresh and Jake and the rest of the crew. Maanika wore a brilliant rainbow sari, the one she’d been bragging about at work that morning, and her hair glowed under the club’s black-lights from something she’d put on it. Her hair looked like a galaxy: waves of light rode the masses of bouncing curls before fading into the rich, shiny black of its natural color.

Lois felt herself stop breathing. Her stomach fluttered, and her face warmed. This is what it is to feel truly real. For the first time since childhood, to have a body that was more than an awkward vehicle for her mind, to have her feelings resound so deeply…

A whirlwind surged inside her: tears, amazement, anger, relief. Exultation won out. She set her jaw, walked to the bar, and took a stool.

Heads turned: Jake and Minoru first, then Suresh and his cronies. Then Maanika. In a room full of gaudy parrots, Lois’ simple blue dress shone like a sapphire. She raised her hand and gestured to the bartender. At the edge of her vision, the gang from work watched her, chattering to one another. She smiled.

The bartender helped her pick a sweet drink with just a little fizz that warmed her as it went down. She lost herself a little in the bloom of sensation as the liquor spread into her belly. Then Suresh was at her elbow.

“Welcome, new face,” he called over the noise of the bar. “Where’ve you been hiding?”

She glanced at him, but said nothing and turned back to her drink. Silence came easy after years as a heavy loader. And she knew Suresh.

“I can show you this club, yeah? Introduce you to the best people here!”

Lois laughed. It came out naturally, easily, like a flood of water.

“She has you dialed, dude,” Jake called.

“Hey, come sit over here,” Maanika said. “We’ll protect you from that asshole!”

Lois smiled, but didn’t get up from her stool.

Over the next ten minutes, her co-workers moved from their circle of seats to her end of the bar. Suresh sulked, and then he wandered off to chat with his club friends.

Jake joked. Minoru told stories. And Maanika asked questions. They all did.

“You work at the Plant? You do, don’t you! What building? What department?” Lois discovered a power, a confidence in silence, in listening. Jake, Minoru, and Maanika wove their own story about her, taking each shake of the head, each smile or giggle as a sign. She was clearly not on their crew, but somewhere close, probably in management. A new hire, or a transfer from overseas.

Lois responded quietly and politely. She told them that this was a new body for her, that it was her first night out in it.

“Might as well have been made for you, darling,” Maanika said. “You wear it perfectly.” Lois smiled a wide, honest grin at that, and Maanika blushed, cheeks already rosy from alcohol glowing brightly. Her hair shimmered as she ducked her head to hide behind her hand.

Lois felt electrically alive, every nerve humming like guitar strings. The noise of the club—of Jake’s bids for attention, of Minoru’s fumbling flirtations—faded. The world, all of it that mattered, shrank down to fit within Maanika’s shining green eyes.

They talked, Maanika about fashion, with an energy that Lois found infectious, and Lois about her passion for music, especially soundtracks. Maanika smiled, touched Lois’ shoulder, moved closer. They talked on, about the Company, about the Plant, about the pitiful state of the equipment.

Then they were walking outside to get some air. Then they were walking home, talking on the street, holding hands, leaning close for warmth. Lois felt only now, the beauty of the moment pushing aside fear and shame and memory and the coming day and even the next minute. She talked easily, with no need for a keyboard or speaker, no effort of thought, and Maanika listened. And when Maanika talked, Lois drank in her voice as if hearing her for the first time: the soft silkiness of her accent, and the tiny note of uncertainty usually inaudible under layers of smug, posed confidence.

It felt like love at first sight. It felt like seeing the world with new eyes. Lois burst out laughing.

Maanika smiled. “What brought that on?” she asked.

“Oh, I just…I never go to the club,” Lois answered. “I had a really bad time there one night when I first started, and—” She shook her head. “I feel so sad. I almost didn’t go tonight. I might never have met you—really met you—if I hadn’t.”

Maanika blushed again, and hid her eyes.

“It’s true,” Lois said. “I-I know I’ve seen you at work, but I really feel I’m seeing you for the first time. Without tonight…”

Maanika squirmed. “Stop! Seriously, you’re like something out of a movie. This whole night is.” She looked into Lois’ eyes, her face still as water. Then they both snickered.

“You’re right about the club,” Maanika said. “And about Suresh.” She mimed taking off imaginary sunglasses, stared smokily at Lois, and said, “I can introduce you to the best people here, eh?” She waggled her eyebrows, and they both dissolved into a fit of giggling that left them leaning against the dormitory wall. The Company logo flashed above them on the bright LED wall panels, and shining products made at the Plant rotated behind it.

Maanika gently took Lois’ shoulders—in the new body, Lois no longer towered over her—and they looked at each other, eye to eye. Then Maanika slowly, carefully, leaned in and kissed her. Lois could smell her, the musk-and-coconut scent of her hair and skin, her sweat. She could feel warmth flowing from the kiss outward, down to her toes, her fingers clenching Maanika’s waist, drawing her near, taste the tang of her lips, hear her pulse roaring in her ears.

She gasped as they parted, panting like someone coming up from black depths of water.

Maanika searched Lois’ face as she leaned against the wall like a drunk. “Wow—you kiss like it’s your first time in years!” Lois shivered and looked away.

“No, precious one, don’t,” Maanika whispered. “I’ve just…I’m not used to it, that’s all. It’s like you fell out of the sky or something!”

Lois looked up from under her bangs. Maanika’s finely shaped, perfect lips parted in a wondering smile. Her blood buzzed. She nuzzled Maanika, lips sweeping lips.

Maanika sighed, leaned into the kiss, and pressed her to the wall. The curves of their flesh struck lightning from one another where they touched. Maanika’s hand caressed her arm, slid down, lit a path of fire across her belly and then up her chest, her throat, her chin, cupping the kissing face, the gentle touch of fingertips chiming Lois like crystal.

“Would you like to come to my room?” Maanika asked.

…

Read more in Nerve Endings